


deja vu (and i don't want this to happen again)

by donnashana



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnashana/pseuds/donnashana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stefan’s getting too old for this shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	deja vu (and i don't want this to happen again)

**Author's Note:**

> Stefan reflects on his relationships with Katherine and Elena.

Stefan’s getting too old for this shit.  
  
First there was Katherine, and she was beautiful and witty and something horribly close to evil incarnate (but _damn_ , wasn’t that the biggest turn on) and then a century and a half later, there’s Elena.  
  
Elena, who has Katherine’s face and Katherine’s body and is actually not evil.  
  
She’s good, too kind-hearted. Stefan can see her soul in her body and it glows with shades of silver and gold. She’s compassionate and she actually _cares_ \- about him, about Damon, about everyone.  
  
It’s deja vu gone wrong.  
  
Sometimes Stefan wonders if he only loves Elena because she looks like Katherine.  
  
Yes and no.  
  
He misses Katherine sometimes, misses her down to his bones, and knowing she never loved him makes it worse.  
  
It’s deja vu gone wrong, the same stupid love triangle between him and Damon and Elena, and he’s sick of it.  
  
Elena’s effect on him eventually turns sour, as he knew it would, because seeing her face eventually only reminds him of Katherine. He turns bitter and stupid because it still stings - history is repeating itself - once again, Katherine/Elena chose Damon over him.  
  
Damon, who is better than him in every way.  
  
Damon is everything Stefan ever wanted to be. Smart, cocky, confident, attractive - and with the guts to pull it off. Stefan always had to be the good brother, because there had to be at least one.  
  
But Elena _changes_ Damon, somehow. She turns him into something better - something that feels almost human. Damon is less tense, less ice-cold edges. He smiles more, laughs more. Stefan isn’t sure what to think. Elena’s soul glows red - the color of love - when she sees Damon. And Damon’s eyes say it all.  
  
Stefan will always love Elena. He’ll always love Katherine.  
  
But he doesn’t want to.  
  
Sometimes he wishes he fell in love with Caroline, because she’s blonde and hot and smart and insecure and his best friend. Bonnie’s not bad either: he’d always had a thing for brunettes, but he can feel the love between her and Jeremy so deeply it feels like he’s being stabbed every time they’re in the same room.  
  
Stefan hopes, sometimes.  
  
He hopes someday he can say everything he’d ever wanted to say to Katherine, and gets over her once and for all.

He hopes he never loves Elena again.  
  
He hopes whatever is between Elena and Damon is not temporary, not something purely out of the sire bond, because what they have is real and he doesn’t want this to be deja vu gone wrong.  
  
He hopes this will be deja vu gone right.  



End file.
